If last December was spring with everyone getting attached, this season must surely be winter- with people around losing someone, longing for someone and not getting them or just feeling cold and lonely. Yes, I think there may be some seasonal change in people's emotions- maybe related to some variation in hormone? I dunno... But everyone seems to be facing a common dilemma. But that's always good...'cos it's always best to find comfort in someone going through the same things as you.

When I hear all the same reasons, I can't help but feel guilty. Very. Everyone seems to have the same standard reasons to give for a break-up... i don't know if we're right for each other... we're so different it couldn't possibly work out.. i'm really not sure about us anymore.. I'm too young to commit.. I'm not sure what I want right now.. it seems like come with some common encrypted code for breakup lines. When people talk about breakups and why they happen, and how stupid the reasons are, I can't help but feel bad. I know that I hurt you a lot. 'Cos now I can see what it must feel like. But I was really hurt too.. As stupid and as silly as the reasons sound...it's probably just as true.. Someone today asked me if i was 'still' an idealist. I guess I am in a way, perhaps slightly jaded by all that has happened- wake-up calls, but i still think that we all need to find the one person we can truly connect with, and relate to so well, and want so much that we know better than to ever let go.. it's sort of like a game of 'trial and error'...crude I know..but think about it.. You might THINK you'd do fine with a person...but u have to have feasible proof of it. And so you can't ever know for sure until you've really tried.. and then from then on its a connection thing.. it might be strong at the start cos everything's still fresh and it's not gotten down to the proper stuff yet...so only time can tell in this game. And if it's just the wrong match, you just have to move on...to do yourself justice.. it's not fair if it just clicks one-way isn't it.. no that's not how this game works.. it has to be felt both ways.. but that doesn't mean that you weren't something special to that someone special..it doesn't mean he didn't love you.. he probably did..and cared for you with all his life.. but I think we all want to find THE ideal person. I think it was how we were made. But don't worry... it's a game of permutations and combinations..so its my theory that those that do the breaking up will have to bear the brunt of being broken up with sometime... n vice-versa...so you'll get ur chance to dump sm1 too ;) but not if you're lucky enough and the next guy's Mr. Right! (*cross fingers*)

So now on to more affairs of the heart... whhhhyyyy what is the point of crushes! Grr. I look al around me and I see people who dedicate so much of themselves to thinking about someone who probably isn't thinking about them in return.. All the heartache when you know it's never going to be reciprocated.. Hoping that he'll never find out...and then hoping that he will... Knowing it's all hopeless and then wishing all over again.. Haha and the irony of it all...the person with probably the most number of crushes in the whole of humankind talking.. (ok, mayb with the exception of Hamid or smth ;) juz kidding) But I think my crushes were never THAT drastic..as in they lasted pretty long but I would never do anything about them..and its not like i'd think about them all the time or die to be with them (although that WOULD come as a bonus) Haha.. and i've also realised that i've only had crushes on the most unlikely of people whom i would in actual fact probably become very put off by if I'd ever gotten to know them properly.. Hmmn. I still think the best option is to really like someone, and having that someone fall for you without knowing or having the slightest clue. Yup. So yes..no point placing to much importance on crushes.. better to take the options as they come.. ;) if they ever come lah. Haha.

Yup, everybody needs someone..so it's ok if you're feeling lonely. :

Mask of Zorro Theme Song- I want to spend my lifetime loving you. (one of my all-time favs)

Moon so bright, night so fine,
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming

Race the moon, catch the wind,
Ride the night to the end,
Seize the day, stand up for the light

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do

Heroes rise, heroes fall,
Rise again, win it all,
In your heart, can't you feel the glory?

Through our joy, through our pain,
We can move worlds again
Take my hand, dance the dance with me

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you

Though we know we will never come again
Where there is love, life begins
Over and over again

Save the night, save the day,
Save the love, come what may,
Love is worth everything we pay